The day we found out our little nugget had no kidneys I walked out of the doctors office broken and angry. I turned to Robert and said "I am so mad I just want to......." then racked my brain for the most horrible thing I could think of to release this anger I had boiling inside me. Then it came to me "I am so mad I just want to.....run over a kitten". Terrible I know, but please don't judge. If someone just told you your baby was going to die I bet you could think of worse things you would like to do. And running over a kitten is something I would never, ever, act on. I love kittens, all animals and defend the little slugs that live on my porch every time Robert threatens to off them. I even say prayers for the little squished animals on the side of the road, that they didn't die in pain and they are in a better place.
Imaging my surprise the other day as I am driving down the road listening to my ipod on random and this song comes on, Kill a Kitten by Stephen Lynch. I didn't even know I had it loaded and it was the first time ever it came up durning the random shuffle.
I laughed so hard I almost pissed my pants, which really isnt all that hard to do when you are 5 months pregnant. It just goes to show you sometime laughter is the best medicine. It certainly beats the socks off of white hot boiling anger.
Grrrrrrrr it won't let me comment!! I don't think anyone can judge you for being upset. You get to be. You've had such a beautiful spirit about this whole thing, and you should be proud. That baby is lucky to have you for a mom.
I read your blogs from time to time and was heart broken to hear about the tribulations you and Robert are going through. You are in my prayers every day. You are a strong beautiful woman. On the kitten situation... Hilarious! Life throws things at us and finds ways to make us laugh! I hope you have more opportunities to nearly pee your pants to get you through this.
Grrrrrrrr it won't let me comment!! I don't think anyone can judge you for being upset. You get to be. You've had such a beautiful spirit about this whole thing, and you should be proud. That baby is lucky to have you for a mom.
ReplyDeleteHi Diane!
ReplyDeleteI read your blogs from time to time and was heart broken to hear about the tribulations you and Robert are going through. You are in my prayers every day. You are a strong beautiful woman. On the kitten situation... Hilarious! Life throws things at us and finds ways to make us laugh! I hope you have more opportunities to nearly pee your pants to get you through this.
Love, Tam