Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Robert Weldon Hill III

I love a good birth story. When you hang out at LLL and Birth Circle meetings you get to hear lots of great birth stories. It just makes you feel good, listening to mothers gush about bringing their babies into this world. 

While the finale of baby Roberts story is heartbreaking, how he came into this world was completely amazing and is a story I will treasure always.

Robert Weldon Hill III was born on December 13th at 8:55 am, accidentally at home, on the toilet (no he didn't fall in), surrounded by his loving family. We got to share one amazing hour with him before he left this world. 

I woke up at 3 am having contractions and could not get back to sleep so I went downstairs to the living room, watched some trash TV and just tried to hang out. Labor with Lenora was 24 hours so I figured we had plenty of time. Plus I had an epidural so I wasn't exactly sure what natural childbirth would feel like. I was getting pretty restless so I went back upstairs woke Robert up and took a shower. Since I still figured we still had lots of time I made him swear not to wake anyone up or tell anyone. I just wanted some time to let it all sink in. I laid back in bed and rested until Lenora woke up at 7. Robert made us eggs for breakfast and drove Lenora to daycare. 

It was around 8 am and by this point it was getting pretty intense but still bearable. I was on all fours in the living room and was making crazy mooing birth noises, which I found out later my neighbor heard every last one of. The doula was on the way and I figured when she got there she would tell me to head to the hospital. My MIL was up and milling around and Robert was eating a bowl of cheerios, which stunk to high heaven. Your sense of smell in labor is 10000 times stronger. I don't think I will ever look at cheerios the same again. 

Then I had to poop. I should have known he was almost here but I had been pooping all morning. Again, I had never done this before the good old fashioned way and wasn't planning on it happening at home so I just went with it. My mom had made her way over and I was sitting on the john yelling for Robert to wipe my rear. I made him swear a few days before no matter what happened he would be the designated rear wiper. No one else was allowed in that zone. 

This is when all hell broke loose. My mom is standing there with a bottle of Purell and "how to give birth at home" instructions she printed off google, Robert is calling to find out where the doula is and I am making crazy noises in the bathroom. I remember yelling at someone to take my pants of, yelling at my mom to stop reading the birth instructions and yelling at Robert to get in the bathroom. 

When they tell you your body knows what its doing during natural childbirth they are right. There was no stopping this birth train, I was on auto pilot. All the sudden there I was pushing him out. 3 pushes later and he made his grand entrance, my accidental home birth baby. 

It was AMAZING. Its hard to put into words just how (please forgive my language) completely BAD ASS it was. I was woman. I roared. I delivered a baby at home with no drugs. And you bet your sweet bippy I plan on doing it again. 

Due to his condition we didn't know what to expect but he was perfect in every way. Even his tiny little crooked foot was perfect. He made one small squeak and that was it. He never opened his eyes, but he did take a few breaths. He was so peaceful and the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. 

His one hour with us was filled with family and love and kisses and promises that we would never forget him. I could feel my heart split wide open with the love I have for this child. He knew exactly what he was doing and his birth and life were a gift to us all. 

Not a day goes by that I don't wish he was still here with us, and when I get all sad and weepy I just think about how he came into this world and it brings a smile to my face.

ps. If you want the un-edited, play by play, laugh your pants off version of this story, call my mother. I think she remembers it even better than I do. And she still has her copy of how to give birth at home if you need some pointers. 

pps. Professional photos were done by Jillian Mills (through NILMDTS), a special soul, at Heart Love Photography.


  1. I love this! I am sitting here laughing and crying. Such an amazing birth story. I love love LOVE the accompanying photos. That "OMG I JUST BIRTHED A BABY OUT IF MY VAGINA WITH NO DRUGS. IN MY HOUSE AND IT WAS AMAZING " face. Baby Robert and his story have been a gift to everyone. <3

  2. Beautiful baby boy! I am glad he got to spend some time at home with you. You are a BAD ASS and you did so very well. Thank you for sharing your story.

  3. Unforgettable! I think he did it on purpose! He wanted to let you hold him and spend every single second of his life at home and not in a cold hospital. I think you are soooo BAD ASS not only for doing it but for being such an AWESOME lady.

    God Bless you and thank you for sharing those precious moments you got to spend with your beautiful baby.

  4. Di,

    I have no words. Just love to you and your family. You are the most BAD ASS person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.
    I'd love to hear moms version, I bet her version is pretty bad ass also ;)

    Love and hugs,

  5. Your attitude is a fabulous gift to Robert and the memory of him. Your ability to smile and look at the positives during such an ordeal is truly inspirational. How lucky he was to have all of you there to cherish him so dearly. Your continued smiles (even amongst the tears) will further paint a beautiful legacy.

    What a beautiful boy, with a beautiful, bad ass Mother.

  6. I have never seen (or "known") a more beautiful mother. Thank you for allowing me to follow you on this journey. Blessings to you in your healing...

  7. Diane, we don't know each other, we have never met, but I heard about you and Robert through DD&DC. I have followed your updates, and while I cannot truly know what you and your family have experienced, are experiencing, my heart has soared and broken with you. Thank you for letting us be part of this amazing journey you and your family are on.

    God bless you!