This past Sunday was International Bereaved Mothers Day. It got me thinking about the timeline of grief and how long it lasts.
I am a list checker. I write things down, then cross them
off. It helps me to remember what I need to focus on and gives me a sense of
accomplishment when I complete the task. The tricky thing with grieving is that it isn’t something
you can just “do” then cross off the list. There is this unspoken (and often
times spoken) idea that you will be better after a few months or a year. That
could not be further from the truth.
There is no timeline, no date when it ends and no gold star
on the calendar. It’s a forever process. I will never fully move on from the
death of my sweet boy, or ever get over it, or ever forget. I will always be a bereaved mother.
There are good
days, ok days and then days where that nasty grief reaches up and bitch slaps
me right in the face. It is tough work, this grief business, but I keep on
working through it. One day at a time, one minute at a time and sometimes one
second at a time.